


save the kiss for later

by strawberrymarss



Category: ATEEZ (Band), 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs
Genre: AU - Bungou Stray Dogs, BSD - Dead Apple Spoilers, BSD 15!Soukoku Spoilers, BSD Canon-Typical Violence, Chuuya!Hongjoong, Dazai!Seonghwa, Dazai-typical suicide mentions, Emotional Constipation, I didn't really change much, M/M, Mentions of BSD Characters, Mentions of alcoholism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:49:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25447909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberrymarss/pseuds/strawberrymarss
Summary: Their first meeting is still fresh in Hongjoong's mind. Everything that's happened between them are all wounds which never truly healed.Hongjoong ponders why he bothers rescuing Seonghwa even after all that happened.(title from Setsuna No Ai by Granrodeo)
Relationships: Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Comments: 10
Kudos: 23





	save the kiss for later

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cafemints](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cafemints/gifts).



> hello ! So i wrote this for eri hehe,,,, okay this is probably not good and it's 1am as i'm posting this KSBFJSJSJ
> 
> the plot stays relatively the same to BSD 15!SKK in the anime, and also Dead Apple, with a bit of a study (?) and expansion from me. 
> 
> If you don't want BSD or BSD: Dead Apple spoilers, please refrain from reading this! 
> 
> Enjoy! 
> 
> also!
> 
> tw // suicide mention, violence
> 
> please be careful as you read!

Hongjoong has never properly felt _human_ , from the day he came into existence as Arahabaki's vessel. All he knew was that he could levitate objects if he so wanted, and that he will now have to find a way to survive the slums of Suribachi City. Night after night, the god whispers to him and appears in his dreams, talking about what he can do, sneering about how Hongjoong is nothing but _just a vessel._

  


" _O_ _nly a vessel you are, aren't you tired?_ Arahabaki says, a tempting whisper, " _I know you are. Give it up, let me be in control._ "

  


Hongjoong could have just let go and allowed the entity to rampage and wreak havoc, but for some reason he himself isn't sure of, he didn't. Maybe he had found a liking to being alive, or maybe he just didn't want to return to the darkness he floated around in prior to the day he came into proper existence. The Sheep had quickly taken him in when he met Shirase, saving the boy from some thugs with a display of his power, they gave him a name (“From now on, you’re Kim Hongjoong of the Sheep,” was what Shirase declared with a grin on his face), and from then on, Hongjoong finds himself doing whatever they wanted him to, because he finally found a place to belong to.

  


Even when he felt suffocated by how Shirase forced him to use his Gift to break out their friends out of sticky situations they could’ve easily avoided, even when he sometimes felt like he was choking on Yuan’s cheap perfume when she tries to convince him to clean up others’ mess, Hongjoong let them use him as their trump card, and cleared out anyone in their way, no questions asked. 

  


They crowned him the King of Sheep, but Hongjoong never felt good about that title. It just didn’t feel _right_. Maybe that’s why he had unconsciously put a distance between them, never truly letting them open the door to his heart.

  


Then, Seonghwa comes along.

  


Wandering about in the slums together with Hirotsu, Seonghwa didn’t look that dangerous at all; despite the long mafia black coat hung over his shoulders, and the bandages wound around his head covering his right eye. He was lanky, and there’s a slump on his shoulders, disinterest surrounding him as he walked around reciting the contents of his ‘Guide to Suicide’ book to Hirotsu accompanying him. 

  


Hongjoong was unsettled by his dead eyes, but he wasn’t _scared_. With such a thin frame, what _can_ Seonghwa do to him anyway? Seonghwa’s wrists would probably break if he even tried to hit Hongjoong with those stick-like arms. The one who seemed like he packed a punch was Hirotsu - not that Hongjoong couldn’t kick his ass (and he did) - so Hongjoong decided to just target Seonghwa first, intimidate them so that they’ll submit and answer him more willingly.

  


And well, they had a good fight, he and Hirotsu, and Seonghwa revealed he had a rather troublesome card up his sleeve; his Ability Hongjoong later learned is named ‘No Longer Human’. The moment Hongjoong felt the coldness of the Gift wash over him and cancel out Tainted Sorrow, spread from the spot on his neck Seonghwa pressed on, the redhead knew Seonghwa was nothing but trouble.

  


And he was only proven right even more the longer he spent with Seonghwa; getting brought to the Port Mafia, and roped into ‘working’ for them because their investigations happened to be pointing towards the same direction, and Hongjoong’s Sheep members got caught all because they refused to listen to him. 

  


( _Hongjoong had drilled it into their heads that they are in the middle of a_ turf war _many, many times, but it seems they don’t listen. Not like they ever do. So much for making him leader._ )

  


And Seonghwa, truly, was different from the people Hongjoong had been dealing with in the slums. With his empty eyes, he saw through everyone, and it unsettles Hongjoong a little; he was never really one for brain games and all that tricky shit. He could do it if he tried - there is a reason he became Arahabaki’s vessel, come on - but he’d just rather not if he could let his fists solve it all.

  


But Hongjoong wasn’t scared, not even when it’s revealed Seonghwa is working directly under Mori Ougai, meaning he was the current boss’s right-hand man. Not even when Seonghwa shot a corpse multiple times, an inhumane grin stretched out on his face as he did, only stopping when Hongjoong kicked the gun out of his hand. He was just unsettled and confused, trying to understand this guy who strolled into his life, seemingly at first just another passerby he’ll forget after all this fiasco is over and he has returned to the Sheep, where he used to think he belonged.

  


That was what he thought Seonghwa would be; just another passerby who’d remain in his memory as the first person to stand up for him and his right to use his Ability however he wishes, even if he did it with venom dripping from his words and eyes as cold as ice.

  


Hongjoong then had stubbornly told himself he wouldn’t miss the other when it was all over, and that the faster he gets his information on Arahabaki and solve the mystery of the previous Boss’s reappearance, the better. He told himself he definitely didn’t feel anything when he and Seonghwa somehow coordinated perfectly in the battle against Rimbaud, like they had known each other for years, he told himself it was just Seonghwa doing his weird genius thing again, nothing about fate and chemistry Yuan's comics always talked about. He told himself, when he ended up joining the Port Mafia and learned more of Seonghwa's suicidal maniac nature, that it meant nothing that Seonghwa found living worth a shot when they confronted Rimbaud together.

  


( _Seonghwa was the only one then, who could catch up to him and made him feel more human in a weird way, through his cold touches and annoying teasing. The only one who made Hongjoong feel like he’s becoming more human and no longer just a vessel; because when No Longer Human washes over him, Seonghwa’s fingers firm around his wrist, or light on his neck, Arahabaki goes silent and Hongjoong can actually hear his own thoughts._ )

  


Honestly, Hongjoong then would have foamed at the mouth if the present Hongjoong went back and told him he’d be fucking falling for that shithead and still love him even when Seonghwa ended up betraying the Port Mafia after making Hongjoong feel like he has a place to belong to again, a family.

  


( _After becoming Hongjoong’s anchor against the unforgiving tides of Arahabaki and the world itself. The boy thought it was mutual, but he guesses he wasn’t enough. Like always, just another thing Seonghwa plays with until he gets bored and moves on to another one._

  


_Sometimes, Hongjoong still finds himself wondering just what Oda had that he didn’t over a bottle of wine after a long day._ )

  


Hongjoong now sighs, as he observes how the city is covered in the deadly fog - Shibusawa Tatsuhiko’s Ability. That guy just refuses to leave Yokohama alone, huh, even after six years. For some, a large-scale chaos is just not enough to satisfy them, and they keep creating worse and worse situations, sacrificing lives for their own entertainment. It disgusts Hongjoong, but well, does he really have a right to say anything about that when Kajii is going around bombing places and he himself has the blood of more than 200 people staining his hands?

  


He didn’t rise up to Executive in a short time being a goody two shoes, the Mafia isn’t a place of such purity, it doesn’t take long for the mafia black to stain someone.

  


It doesn’t matter if he remembers all their faces, and sees them in his dreams, because there is no return for someone like him. The light itself would probably reject him if he tried to reach for it.

  


Ango had called him up earlier, sending a message about ‘paying his debt to doc glasses’. Hongjoong personally wrecked everything in his way in the government facility Ango stayed in to show that was a big mistake on that man’s side. Who does he think he is? He was just a lowly infiltrator, a traitor to the Port Mafia, had he forgotten what his actions cost the Port Mafia?

  


( _Hongjoong says he’s angry about the losses Port Mafia suffered because of Ango’s shit, and it’s true. He doesn’t admit that he’s also looking for someone to blame for Seonghwa leaving the Port Mafia - leaving him._ )

  


“I’ll take your damn job, but my reward is your life,” Hongjoong had said to the man darkly after their argument about what happened in the past - the Dragon’s Head Rush. 

  


He just wants to get this over with already.

  


( _That fucker Seonghwa better not be dead by the time he gets there, not that Hongjoong thinks he’d die so easily anyway._ )

  


“Seonghwa is most certainly already eliminated by now, Hongjoong. Do you understand what this means?” Ango says into the earpiece.

  


Hongjoong wants to go back and give that man a good smack or two. Fucking hell, he already knew that the moment he read the brief summary on the situation.

  


“I don’t care.”

  


He does. 

  


He does, actually. Hongjoong may not have had the best relationship with life, but he does treasure his beating heart and his consciousness.

  


But at the same time, he also knows that if he leaves Seonghwa to die, knowing full well he could do something about it, he wouldn’t be able to live properly anymore, and that’d be worse than dying from Corruption, because if he died from Corruption, at least he can say he tried. Hongjoong doesn’t know, really, why he still cares anyway, it’s so clear he’s still just a weapon in Seonghwa’s arsenal, yet he’s still here, loyal as hell to this slippery mackerel of a man.

  


“I need to give him a smack, or I’ll never get over it,” Hongjoong continues.

  


( _I gotta go and at least try._ )

  


Ango doesn’t question him any further, not that Hongjoong gave him a chance to, but Tsujimura comes, asking him again about his decision.

  


“That is a monster beyond human comprehension,” Tsujimura says, and Hongjoong scoffs internally. Is she not looking at the vessel of one, at this very moment? She continues, “get overconfident fighting it, and you’ll die.”

  


Goddamn, what’s up with this government people sending him on a potential suicide mission then asking him at the last minute if he’s sure about it? Some sort of a guilty conscience that they want to get rid of? So that they can report that if anything goes wrong, Hongjoong jumped in himself knowing the risks? How fucking bothersome.

  


“Well, that’s not a reason to chicken out and go home. Do you know when it’s alright to chicken out and go home?” Hongjoong asks her, throwing a glance over his shoulder.

  


Tsujimura pauses, then answers, “I do not.”

  


“There is no such time.”

  


There’s nothing more to say after that, so Hongjoong runs, jumping out of the plane, free falling into the mist. The dragon, the true form of chaos between the gathered abilities and No Longer Human, emerges, but Hongjoong isn’t afraid.

  


With a god sleeping inside you, not much can terrify you.

  


Hongjoong merely starts the all-familiar chant, as the wind blows harshly against his body.

  


“O grantors of dark disgrace…”

  


The markings appear, as Hongjoong feels Arahabaki awaken.

  


“Do not wake me again.”

  


\---

  


Hongjoong takes his seat at the back of his mind, watching everything unfold.

  


Arahabaki roars, wild as always, fighting against the dragon. Dragon, or gigantic ancient octopuses, Arahabaki doesn’t care what his opponent is. There is only one goal that Arahabaki pursues - to wreak havoc.

  


It doesn’t take that long, of course, this is, after all, a god unfortunately trapped and forced away into dormancy within Hongjoong’s body. 

  


Hongjoong could feel how his muscles were screaming at him, but he cannot do anything about it. Arahabaki is in charge now, until Seonghwa is found (alive) and No Longer Human is used on him. 

  


He hears Arahabaki croak out the man’s name as they venture deeper into the odd orb within the dragon, spotting Seonghwa floating some metres away, unconscious. 

  


‘ _Man, I really wanna give him a punch. Fucking asshole making me go through all this and he’s just sittin’ there sleeping peacefully,_ ’ Hongjoong complains in his mind, and Arahabaki smiles at him over his shoulder.

  


His body floats closer to Seonghwa, and Arahabaki punches the man.

  


Hongjoong hums, satisfied, as he watches the scene unfolding in front of him. Sometimes, the god is not so bad.

  


Hongjoong squints. There’s something red breaking apart and dissolving into Seonghwa’s mouth.

  


The crafty jerk.

  


Of course, he fucking predicted all this and hid a whole antidote in his damn mouth the whole time.

  


God, just why did Hongjoong decide to save him? He should’ve just left him, should’ve just walked off and ignored Mori’s order before all this started (fuck, the damn Boss was on this too?!). It’s not like he had an obligation to save Seonghwa, not after all the man did to him, Hongjoong regrets this, he regrets it all - 

  


There’s a gentle touch on his cheek, and Hongjoong feels cold wash over him. Suddenly, he’s back in control, looking down on Seonghwa, who smiles at him softly.

  


( _Oh. This is why he did this, isn’t it? To experience again something akin to what they had in the past, though they never declared what they were, even if it is just a fleeting shadow._ )

  


“You used Corruption, believing in me? How beautiful.”

  


Hongjoong wants to give him a kick for being so beautiful after literally escaping death.

  


( _He also wants to wrestle his traitorous mind for focusing on that in their current situation._ )

  


“Yeah, I did,” Hongjoong says, then quickly adds, “I believed in your disgusting vitality and craftiness.”

  


Seonghwa merely chuckles, “that was a somewhat violent way to wake Snow White up, though.”

  


Hongjoong wishes so hard he could regain his strength back already so he can give Seonghwa another hard smack. “You’re the one who hid an antidote in your mouth knowing I’d punch you.”

  


They float down as the orb disappears, and Hongjoong fully expects Seonghwa to just up and leave him as soon as they touch the ground, but instead, the man forces him down, pushing him down back onto his lap when Hongjoong tries to push himself up using the other’s knee. 

  


Oh, Hongjoong wants to disappear already. This is _not_ good for his heart.

  


“Let go, asshole!” Hongjoong finds the energy in him to yell, and Seonghwa shushes him.

  


“The fog still hasn’t cleared. I don’t want to have to protect you from your Ability in this situation.”

  


_Protect him, huh…_

  


_Maybe being in the light had changed Seonghwa. The Demon Prodigy from back then would have never said that so clearly._

  


“It’s still not over yet?” 

  


Seonghwa shakes his head. “No, it’s just beginning.”

  


Hongjoong thinks of something else to say, _he misses Seonghwa’s voice_ , but he feels his head get heavier, and finds his strength to stay awake diminishing bit by bit.

  


“Shit, I can’t even move a finger,” he struggles out.

  


This isn’t the first time he had slept with his head resting on Seonghwa’s lap or thigh, and Hongjoong finds himself yearning for the past as his mind drifts to that.

  


He lets himself go, as he feels himself fall and melt into Seonghwa’s lap.

  


‘ _It’s warm, just like before_ ,’ Hongjoong finds himself thinking, as his eyes fall close and his consciousness slips away.

  


\---

  


He awakes alone, as always. This time, only his hat is lying there, somehow not lost in all the chaos, though his coat and gloves are nowhere to be found. Hongjoong doesn’t blame Seonghwa for that, they’re practically impossible to find now, and he could just buy new ones.

  


He looks up to the sky as he leans back against the boulder Seonghwa leaned him against, clutching his abdomen. At least he can move a bit now. 

  


Akutagawa passes by, and Hongjoong calls out to him, telling him that his precious mentor is safe. The young boy bows, and turns to leave, but Hongjoong calls out again.

  


“Yo. Give me your shoulder.”

  


Akutagawa wordlessly obeys, and helps Hongjoong up, as they trudge back to the nearest safehouse.

  


\---

  


As Hongjoong rests in the safehouse, waiting for Port Mafia reinforcements to come and pick them up, he finds a small piece of paper in the pocket of his slacks.

  
  


_Come by Lupin sometime._

  


_They have your favourite wine, Shrimp._

  
  


Hongjoong smiles, huffing softly to himself as he reads the note in the familiar handwriting he’d never forget. Seonghwa’s handwriting fluctuates, yet he always maintains it in the same gentle rounded writing, a habit from their past when Hongjoong only knew how to read basic characters and words, when it is addressed to Hongjoong.

  


That idiot. For all his genius, Seonghwa was never good at expressing himself properly, and that still hasn’t changed.

  


Maybe, there’s something that they can still salvage from the shards of their old partnership.

  


Maybe, they can move on from the past and start anew.

  


And maybe, there’s one more thing they can both look forward to from now on.

  


Hongjoong folds the note close again, and puts it in his pocket. 

  


He'll have to plan his schedule carefully so that he can swing by Bar Lupin soon. 

**Author's Note:**

> i hope that was decent KANCJSJDJ
> 
> do leave kudo's and comments ! ❤ I appreciate them! Thank you for reading!


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